i didnt plan to blog until i've FULLY recovered from my cough and flu.cos i keep blogging abt my flu and cough.LOL.but today's an exception la.cos i got nothing to do.hee.AND I MET THIS MAD LADY IN THE LIFT.at first i thought she was normal.she LOOKED so normal.well i learnt a lesson today-looks can be deceiving.or rather.looks doesnt tell u anything.but seriously.if u dun judge,looks can tell u anything.so DUN JUDGE.okay.anyway.i'll continue with my story.i was in the lift.IN THE LIFT ALREADY.when the lady SHOUTED i dunno what bird language.then i got scared.pressed DOOR OPEN then ran out.SO SCARY LA.i wouldnt mind if shes talking to herself.BUT shes not.shes SHOUTING AT THE LIFT BUTTONS.so ya.didnt know my block was so unsafe.
YA SO ANYWAY.im still sick.AND ITS SOMEHOW GETTING WORSE.and i think i know why.cos im not taking my medicine.i went to see the doctor but didnt want to take the medicine.so why did i go to the doctor?cos my parents wanted me to.LOL.but at least i took the flu pills.and now left only one pathetic pill.or should i say one precious pill.english test i wasnt concentrating la.cos my nose was practically dripping.ITS EITHER DRIPPING OR ITS BLOODY BLOCKED.so uncomfortable.and in class i was begging for tissue.ahhh.see.told you.when im sick i keep blogging abt it.cos its the only thing that happened.and only what i remember mostly.lol.
AND OH YA.important announcement.I FAILED MY SS AND GEOG.
okay thats all.TILL I RECOVER,TATA!
rockstar!, 5:51 PM
..head in the cloud

OMG.i noe declare that im seriously ill.but now im not la.okay im contradicting myself.oh crap.ANYWAY.the worst thing happened to me today MORNING.i was on the bus.going to school.then.i felt sick.and there was no empty seat.so had to stand la.and then i couldnt stand any longer.vision blurred.i thought i was going to black out la!!but didnt.PHEW.so i got down.thinking that i could just get a cab and go home.since i was so sick.BUT WHO KNOWS.i got down at this dunno which stop.no taxis around.NO VEHICLES more like it.so had to wait la.after like 5 mins another bus came.since no cab to sent me home.i took the bus to school.HOW PATHETIC RIGHT!!!cant pon school when im so sick.and during flag raising i couldnt stnad any longer i went to the toilet and vomited everything out.okay actually no.i didnt eat in the morning so nothing to puke la.so um ya.thats that about my HORRIBLE HORRIBLE morning.but miracles do happen.i discovered whats the best for me when im sick.CRAP AND CRAP AND CRAP!!talked so much during class.and i recovered my voice!!although i admit its still quite unrecognizable and it sucks.AHHH.if it happens again tmr im gonna kill myself man.
things are just so bad for me!!!!!SOBS.
did almost nothing during class today.cant concentrate.was crapping and coughing and sleeping the whole day long.i wonder whats the difference between we going and not going to school.i need my flu pills!!!left TWO ONLY!!!if i take one now,i'll be left with only one for tmr.and if i dun get cured by tmr.I"LL SUFFER!!!BLOCKED NOSE.ahh i cant breathe.okay crap.lol.stupid doctor gave me so little medicine.
life back in school sucks.i want holidays!
rockstar!, 9:09 AM
..head in the cloud

im STILL sick.and my voice sucks.ARHH.cant blog too much.cos i cant stare at the comp for too long.getting giddy.oh well.thats it.my head.is exploding.
rockstar!, 5:44 PM
..head in the cloud

im sick.im sick!!!fever+cough+sore throat.and i think its all becos of the BBQ.the waterbombs!!made me kena fever.and the food!!made me kena cough and sore throat.but i didnt eat much.wonder how come i'll get sore throat.arhh.headache.i need panadols!!
so much happened this holidays.makes me wonder.is it worth it to give up your life just for revenge?or to make make someone come back to you?nahh dun think so.and sometimes.u should see deeper into things and not just the surface.cos its only then you'll see the truth.IM NOT IMPLYING ANYONE LA.okay maybe yes.A LITTLE.but um.ya.whatever la.and maybe i should learn to cherish myself more.like for example:dun eat chips when im having fever+cough+sore throat.i should give my body a break.well,thats for next time la.cos i've just finished the chips=)
im not a silly girl.i wont do silly stuff.OH YES I WONT.

the jump from sec2 to 3 is too much for me.i've seen stuff that is too much for me.but thats how i learn to grow up right?learn to look on the brighter side of life=)look at the sun!LOL.
rockstar!, 1:47 AM
..head in the cloud

YAY.got a new blogskin.I MADE IT OKAY.i know its not that nice.BUT.im a beginner.cant blame me.OKAY ANYWAY.yesterday's BBQ was SO FUN LA.waterbomb!!i got totally soaked.yes.frm head to toe.can squeeze out water from my shirt.and its the first time i realised e2 rocks.seriously!maybe i should forget about e6 and move on.sec3 isnt so bad after all.sometimes.u need to move on.dun focus too much on the past and miss out on whats around us now.i love 3e2=)and i got this feeling that the rest of the time we spent together is gonna ROCK the school.
rockstar!, 10:32 AM
..head in the cloud

SOBS!!i think i failed oral.CHINESE oral.i was so nervous la.kept reading the wrong word.and i skipped so many words i doubt my reading makes sense!!!AND I PAUSED SO LONG DURING THE CONVERSATION PART.thats the worst.the teacher kept prompting me.and the funny thing is.i cant think of what to say and in the end she answered it herself.WTF?!!die la.pls pls pls dont fail me.i used to think that ORAL CANNOT FAIL ONE LA.but now.i take back all my words!!diminished all thoughts.tmr english oral.hope i'll do well.cant afford to have any more failed scripts.yes sripts.in case u didnt noe.oral is paper3.lol.okay!thats crap.
arhh.got this headache.my head hurts.maybe i think too much.used too much brainpower.LOL.okay thats crap.eating chips now.got SO HUNGRY just now i couldnt stand it.went down to buy some junk food to fill up my empty stomach for the time being.and now my teeth hurts.bite too much.i complain alot huh.got food to eat still complain so much.lol.[OMG HEADACHE]
i think my brain is decomposing.too much left unused.thats why it hurts so much now.or maybe got tumour.omg BRAIN CANCER!is there even such a thing.okay whatever.my head hurts so much i cant think.im gonna explode!!ARHH.i cant stnd myself.i cant stand her.i cant stand it.why am i becoming so not-me.maybe this is just part and parcel of growing up.maybe i'll grow up to become a deceiving person.maybe i wouldnt have a chance to grow up.maybe.maybe.MAYBE.i dont know.they're just MAYBE's.nobody knows what will happen tomorrow.MAYBE..i'll grow wings and i'll fly away.WELL.THATS JUST A MAYBE.
rockstar!, 9:26 AM
..head in the cloud

I live in a world of my own
I live in fear of the future
I live in regrets of my past
This virtual world that I live in
Is inside of me

I can’t differentiate between the present and past
I can’t decipher between the right and the wrong
I can’t make decisions I will never regret
I can’t do things so I’ll never forget

In this world it’s reality
In the other is never is
In my world there’s only make believe

i think im getting smarter.really!!
HEADCAHE.CANT STAND IT.
I NEED A PILLOW!!
rockstar!, 5:46 PM
..head in the cloud

arh.fuck.i just deleted a darn long blog post.cos i shouldnt be posting that.or maybe i should.but i cant.all i can say is.i discriminate.im starting to eliminate my friends.if u noe what i mean.but i'd rather u dont.cos im becoming so stuck up i cant believe myself.u guys cant see.but i am.im trying to refrain myself from showing.but its like i cant control it.sometimes i think too much tears actually form.sorry guys if i got angry and snapped at u.umm for example jieying.SORRY!!i didnt mean to la.its just i dunno why im starting to get so emotional.i want everything to be my way.and if i hate u,ure screwed for the rest of the days in my class.but i love my class so far.except for well,one.i cant say who.but i guess u guys noe.WELL.close friends will noe.and i think she noes too.i wanna stop all these hating stuff.but its not like i have any control over it.when i see her.i'll get so.frustrated.cant stand it.whatever she does,is just so disgusting to me.i cant stand geeks.well thats a BIG clue.but heck.i shud stop.dun wanna get too worked up.and then i'll start hurling abuses at her.and then.things are gonna get tensed.well.she dont deserve it.its just im too evil.I HATE MYSELF!!!i deserved to be hated.yes i do.but nobody hates me.OOPS.okay.shudnt be so stuck up.maybe everyone hates me.its just that im too busy discriminating i didnt notice.
rockstar!, 6:15 PM
..head in the cloud

i.am.so.sick.of.it.sick of everything.everyone's giving me attitude this few days.make me got some kind of attitude now.whats wrong with me!!!arhh.stupid homework.one week hols only i got one month's worth of homework.WTF.hundred over pages of TYS.how to finish.im so frustrated already.and u people are still so irritating.no offence.but u guys are really making me frustrated.just dont talk to me this few days.unless i talk to you.OR I'LL SCREAM AT YOUR FACE.and its not gonna be nice.dont try this at home.its highly dangerous.IM REALLY DAMN PISSED OFF.seems like all the bad things are happening to be at one time.i can cope.I REALLY CANT COPE.can you all be nicer to me.dont provoke me please.i already cant concentrate in class.cos of this irritaing problems.so dont add to my burden.thanks.i need a punching bag.who's willing to be mine??arhh.i need someone to talk to.but i never trust anyone.not now.not ever.NEVER.someone be nice to me and make me feel better please!!im really really upset.where are all the crappers when i need them??!SOBS!!is this supposed to be part of growing up.if it is.then i dun wanna grow up.im suicidal.but i wont ever commit suicide.so no worries.im nice to myself.i'll never bear to hurt myself.im over protecting myself.but who cares.its not like i've got anyone to protect me.im all on my own.ALL ALONE.
rockstar!, 4:28 PM
..head in the cloud

im so bored.so so so bored.anyway.got my emaths paper back today.14/18 not bad huh.ya.cos almost half the class got 18/18.like wtf.but anyway.14 im happy liao.hahs.im a contented gurl.really.damn la.just realised i forgot everything abt amaths.LOG.DAMN THE LOGS.arhhh.im feeling so sleepy.but cant sleep.actually i can.so no homework today!whooo!but theres chem test this thurs.HOW.still.i cant study now.cos i didnt bring textbook home.LOL.so.sleeping is the most practical thing to do now.oh well.shud i waste my time like that.OH YEA.i got nothing else better to do anyway.i wish life could just end like that.i wish i were more cruel to everyone else and to myself.i wish i could be someone else other than myself.BUT these are WISHES.and if ure mature enough.u'll noe that WISHES NEVER COME TRUE no matter how hard u try and how hard u pray.cos as u said.THOSE ARE JUST WISHES.unless theres a fairygodmother around,i doubt any miracle would happen.and even if there is a fairygodmother,she wont help us.cos we're no cinderella.
since when have i started to blog like that?all those cheem cheem stuff.arhh.i dun wanna be so cheem.i wanna be stupid.i wanna be dumb.i wanna be an idiot.i wanna be oblivious to everything around me.so i wont notice the cruelty of this world,and of myself.oh yes im cruel.in case u havent notice.OH WHAT EVER.IM SO SICK OF MYSELF.SO SICK.no i cant be sick.got oral exam next week.
"childhood is the momentum of hatred and grief"
"life is bull.i am crap"
"life is an illusion.and im part of it."
OMG LOOK.i came up with all the cheem stuff.CAN U BELIEVE IT.
i think im getting smarter.really.OH YAY!
rockstar!, 6:09 PM
..head in the cloud

yay.finished all the tests!wheees!finally.can slack now.wahahas.had the stupid e6 convo yesterday.added like 13ppl into the convo.THEN after like 5mins HALF go.stupid e6 laa.in the end only left me jieying xinling kaiwen talking.stupid laa.but still.i miss e6=(.e2 is okay.but.2e6 is still the best.HAHs.no offence but i really miss e6.i miss the slacking days.everyone trying to pon lesson.its quite obvious that all the 2e6 ppl are the slackers in e2 laa.for example:me.lol.ppl say e6 wasnt united.but i think we were.somehow.
OH WELL.i think im the only one caring now.everyone's moved on.except me.i cant let go of the fucking stupid class 2e6.retards united!whoo.
rockstar!, 9:20 PM
..head in the cloud

damnnnn.i totally flunked my geog.HALF the paper i dunno how to do.or shud i say three-quarter.SURE FAIL ONE LAA.amaths was okay.shudnt fail that one.phew.lucky amaths wasnt that difficult.i would die if i flunk both.tmr got emaths and chinese and physics.except for chinese,i shud be okay with the rest laa.arhh.im becoming so slack nowadays.ever since sch reopened.dunno why.but i think i noe why.i've just realised the UNimportance of studying.i mean theres so much more to life than that.i'd rather play while i can.i dun aim for high marks.b4 im happy.and wats the use of studying so much now.its not like that marks is gonna be counted in the prelims or the O's.SO WHAT FOR.im studying just to get the desired marks my parents wants me to get.so that i wont be forced to be in a tuition class.AND THATS WHY im studying.i used to study so hard.but now.i realised my mistakes.i shud just slack my way through.other ppl wanna go uni,but i just wanna stop halfway.WHY.im studying for the sake of studying.i want education to end as soon as possible.i just hate studying.school sucks.i hate the workforce too.i just hate everything.i dunno why.its like i got evrything against me.arhhh.too much angst in me.its been like that since young.i do EVRYTHING for a reason.and i need motivation!!!i need someone to tell me to study before i'd really study.and that someone has to be someone that i actually listens to and has power over me.wich means.not everyone can do that.SO.arhh nvm.dun talk abt that.so heck it.im trying to study.but i cant.i go out of control so easily.i dunno why.immafuckingrebel.well sometimes i am.but its not my fault.well not entirely.its wat everything has made me.u noe,A BLOODY WEIRD AND SLACK AND IDIOTIC AND DUMB AND...(the list goes on)PERSON.YEAH.
rockstar!, 10:34 AM
..head in the cloud